Chloe

One day I had to go to see Doctor Pops at the doctors for an injection. My mum forced me to so I did. Doctor Pops asked “how can I help you?” Mum said “we need a needle please.” The boy squeezed his mum’s hand in fear. The doctor said “go” and he pushed the needle in. The boy said “do it then.” Doctor Pops said “I’ve done it.”  The boy said “ok let’s go home mum.” The doctor said “NO!” The boy was scared and so was mum but the doctor laughed and said “you can’t go until you’ve got a sticker.” Then they went home.

One thought on “Chloe

  1. Hello Chloe,

    Your story has a great deal of truth in its storyline. One of the biggest problems for people going to a doctor for an injection is not the injection itself but the thought of the needle beforehand. For the boy, the fear was strong, so strong he didn’t notice having the injection. 🙂

    Remember to take care with characters when you write. At first the story seemed to be about you but became a story about a boy. This is so easy to do and is a mistake I have made when writing. I always have to reread my stories to make sure the characters remain who they were at the start.

    Well done! I hope you keep entering the 100WC. 🙂

    @RossMannell (Team 100WC)
    Teacher, NSW, Australia

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