Jack

Six years ago there was a spooky hounted house. A group of boys decided to enter the haunted house and carefully one of the boys pushed the doors open. The boys were breathing heavily and shaking with fear. The boys investigated the house and saw fifty spiders and one was the Queen. The Queen was as white as a cloud. One of the boys had a spider on him and pushed it off him. Suddenly the Queen started chasing the boys, the red eyes on the spider sparkled. The Queen was so angry at those boys. The boys ran away as fast as they could.

3 thoughts on “Jack

  1. Excellent writing Jack! lots of tension for your readers to get involved in! Really scary writing – brilliant!

  2. Hi Jack, this is an exciting 100WC. I liked the idea of the spiders being in a haunted house. The boys must have been fast runners to get away. Next time, add in some description of how the characters are feeling (e.g. when the boy had the spider on him was he disgusted? scared?)
    Hope you keep on entering the 100WC 🙂

  3. Jack,
    There is a lot of action and suspense in this 100WC. Nice work. I was totally engaged in the story.

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